Kinks
by castlefanatic000
Summary: One shots starting in season 5. Kate learns new things about Castle all the time, she never realized how much Castle has been hurt by the people he loves, including her. Caskett, just ideas that keep popping in my head.
1. 5x4 Murder, He Wrote

One shot in episode 5x4. Espo and Ryan have Castle on the phone talking about how they are trying to figure out who Beckett's new boyfriend is, not knowing that Beckett's new boyfriend is Castle and she's with him, not knowing she hears Espo asking Castle if he's going to be ok now that Beckett is dating someone again.

"Castle, are you going to be alright with this?"

"Ok, with what Espo?"

"Ok, with the fact that Beckett is seeing someone, we all know how you feel about her. And this is like a repeat of what happened between you two 2 ½ years ago. Only this time, its Beckett's is away with someone, while once again you're up in the Hamptons. 'Writing'. Bro, you're a member of our little family now, and I'm not gonna stand by and watch you fall apart again."

Castle looks at Beckett who has a horrified expression on her face. Castle is shocked as well, he really didn't think they would think so much into this.

"Castle, are you there?"

"Yeah, Espo, I'm here. Look I'm going to be just fine, a lot has changed since then." With a smirk at Beckett, "I am a grown man, I can deal with Beckett being with someone"

"You say that now Castle, but we all know what will happen eventually. You won't be able to be around her anymore and you'll finally listen to your family and walk away from consulting with us"

That last line gets Castle a shocked look from Beckett, who mouths "You're family tried talking you out of working with me?"

Castle mouths back "We will discuss it later"

"Espo, look if you can get anything on this murder here let me know, I'm going to get back to researching on my end, and will you call back if I find anything, Bye Espo"

"Bye Castle"

Looking at Kate, Castle sighs.

"What did he mean that your family asked you to walk away from me? When?"

"Kate, the first serious time was after you were shot. It scared Alexis, I tried to jump in front of you and the second time was with my mother after the bombing. I had just found out that you had lied to me about remembering and, she told me I needed to walk away that love wasn't switch that you can't just turn love off"

"Rick, I am so sorry for all of that, -"

"Kate, that is in the past, what matters is we are here together, that is all that matters. My mother and Alexis don't feel that way anymore. You should have seen how excited they were yesterday as I was getting ready to pick you up and come up here."


	2. 5x5 Probable Cause

Shaken by what she has learned, Beckett tearfully seeks comfort from Lanie. The evidence suggests that Castle started the affair not long after she and Castle got together, but tried to break it off. The evidence overwhelmingly suggests that Castle is guilty, but after revealing how painful it was to watch him be arrested ("He looked like a little boy, he was so scared..."), Beckett once again affirms that she does not believe Castle responsible for any of this: "I know him, Lanie. He is an immature, egotistical, self-centered jackass sometimes. But he's not this."

Before Lanie can respond, there is a knock on Kate's door.

Kate slowly gets up from the couch trying to get herself together. Without even looking in the peep hole she opens her door to discover Alexis on the other side.

"Alexis, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk to you about my dad"

"Alexis this really is not the time"

"Kate, no this is the time, you owe me that much. You cannot give up on my dad. He is not a killer and you know that. He loves you Kate, more than I've ever seen him love someone before. He would not just throw it all away"

"Alexis, you really need to just go home, right now. I cannot do this right now. Your dad has a history of being with multiple women. To be honest, I'm not surprised this happened, I was hoping he had changed and he wouldn't hurt me like this"

Alexis sighing forces her way into Kate's apartment, seeing Lanie on the couch. Alexis stands there for a moment, and tries to calm herself down. But she is furious, that Kate could even believe that her dad would do this. She turns to Kate and can't help but start yelling.

"KATE, you have no idea what you are talking about! This is not my dad. You do not get it do you? Four years he's been shadowing you and you still just do not get it! What the hell is wrong with you are you blind or just stupid?!"

"Alexis, that is uncalled for. I thought I knew your dad."

"Kate, you do know him, better than anyone, at least I thought you did. LISTEN TO ME BECKETT"

Kate can't believe that Alexis is in her home, acting like nothing is wrong and that she is to blame.

"Alexis," - Interrupting Kate. "No, you're going to listen to me then I will leave and if you still don't believe in my dad, then walking out that door will be a goodbye from my family"

"My dad is anything but a cheater. That whole playboy persona you met all those years ago, was a wall he built to protect himself from getting hurt again. First, Kyra, then my mom, then Gina. Kate, why do you think my parents are not together anymore? My dad doesn't cheat, he's the one that gets cheated on."

Kate gasps, she never knew that. She just thought being around her changed him.

"Once he started to really get to know you Kate, the wall came down and he started to care about you, he started to fall in love with you. Despite everything, he waited for you, he stood by and watched you date other guys in front of him. Even with you being someone else, he tried to take a bullet for you, in front of me! I've never seen him look like that. Then in the hospital, Josh attacked him blaming him for you getting shot, and my dad lost it, he just broke down and sat with my grams. All I heard from him before he started crying was, I told her how I felt."

Kate starts crying again at this point and sits down.

"Did you know after you were shot, and I watched him try to die for you, that I pleaded with him to walk away from you, that he was not a cop and that he needed to grow up. He told me couldn't, that he needed to be there for you. I asked him if you made him happy, he said yeah, and that it was enough for now. Kate you cannot doubt my dad, I cannot lose him again, I finally got my dad back. I never liked that side of him."

"Kate, he was ready to walk from his writing, when you came to that book party. It was he killed off Derrick Storm, he was bored with his life. Despite all the women, my dad was lonely. Then you walked through the door and something woke up inside of him." Alexis starts crying at this point. "Please do not give up on him, he loves you and he would not just throw that away. At least think consider this, you know damn well how much my father loves me, do you really think he would kill someone, knowing I would lose the other real parent I have left? If you can believe at least that much, go talk to him as his girlfriend, not as a cop. He deserves that much, even if your there to end everything"

Kate sits in silence for a moment trying to collect her thoughts and think about everything Alexis just said. She did not know Alexis was the type to do this kind of thing. She was always such a mature, laid back young lady and here she was pleading with her to believe in her dad. That he would never hurt her or Alexis. In that moment she believes everything Alexis just said.

Alexis sees something change in Kate's eyes and she hopes it's a good sign. Then Kate speaks,

"Alexis, I'm sorry, your right, this is not your father and I'm going to prove it. I won't it end like this. There has to be something else going on here and I'm going to go figure it out, but first I'm going to go talk to your dad. Thank you, Alexis"

Alexis smiles and hugs Kate who is surprised for a moment but then returns the hug.

As Alexis hugs Kate, she whispers "I knew you would see the truth. It's why I love you too" and with Alexis says goodbye and walks out the door. Leaving a shocked Kate standing there.


	3. 5x9 Secret Santa

5x9 Secret Santa

Javier talks to Kate about overhearing that she volunteered for the Christmas shift.

Javier and Kate are the airport walking towards the red helicopter. As they approach Javier starts talking.

"So, you volunteered for the Christmas shift"

"That was a private conversation Javi"

"I understand that Beckett, and I do understand that Castle understands that this is a part of you and your job. But you're in a relationship with the man now, and he is a family man. Don't you want to be a part of that family?"

"Javi, it's more complicated than that and yes I do want to be a part of his family."

"If that's true, then you're going to, how would Castle put it, you're going to have to evolve. You love him and want to be with him, but if you aren't willing to change and compromise then what the two of you have is not going to last very long."

"Javi, I know that but it's not that simple. You know why I take the Christmas shift and so does he and he said he understood."

"I'm sure he does, Castle is a very, very patient and understanding man when it comes to you. How long can that go on while with him? I know it's not how it is but you can't blow off 'family holidays' just because they are not easy for you. You can't let the past rule your life forever."

"I know Javi"

Before the conversation can continue, the supervisor comes back.

Javier looks at Kate and says, "Just think about it"


	4. 5x10 Significant Others

5x10 Significant Others

Takes place after the episode ends, Kate goes home and is thinking about what Castle ex-wife said to her about Castle. Kate thinks about what she really wants in this relationship with Castle.

Kate arrives home and just she on the couch and thinks about what Meredith said to her. How one-sided everything was between Castle and Meredith. How he was so unwilling to talk to her about his life. How she said he brush off something as simple as simple conversation about not knowing his dad. She remembers the look on Castle's face the previous year, when Sofia told him that the only reason he got access to her was because of his dad. She remembers the hurt and confusion in his eyes at the mention of his dad. He only brought it up once trying to find more information about his dad and if the whole he was a CIA agent was true.

She knew Meredith had cheated on Castle and apparently his unwillingness to open up led to her seeking someone outside their marriage. The only thing Kate can think about when it comes to how the relationship is between her and Castle is how open he actually is. How willing he is to talk about his past, even if she pushes, he doesn't back away, and he actually answers her.

Kate realizes in that moment, that despite how insecure she can be, she could never be jealous again of Castle's relationship with his ex-wives. Because what is going on between them is obviously much stronger than he ever had with anyone else. How much more she loves him because he does not hold back, how he has never held back when it came to her.

Castle and Kate have not been together very long as a couple, but she realizes that she wants so much more with Castle. She wants him to be her one and done. She wants to spend the rest of her life with him and she is pretty sure he wants the same thing. That realization does scare her a little bit, she's never felt so strongly for someone, she had never even felt this strongly about Will and she was sure she was going to marry him.

When she found out that his first wife had cheated on him, she had always wondered how someone could cheat on such a good guy as Castle. Now she understands.

The one thing she is unsure about with her relationship with Castle is what he said a few weeks ago during that sci fi convention, about how he wants the option of having more kids. Did she want that? She never saw herself as a baby person, never had even occurred to her. Castle was the first man she had ever dated who already had child. She loves Alexis and is astounded how someone raised by Castle could be so unlike Castle, yeah sure she occasionally sees little bits of Castle in Alexis's personality. She loved the father in Castle it's what made her fall in love with him to begin with. They are still getting too know the intricate personal sides of each other and she needs to let that take center stage right now. Maybe after being with him longer, maybe she will want that with him. Right now, she's just going to focus on being with Rick and forming a stronger bond with Alexis.


End file.
